and a be-lated Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays 🙂 We wish you and your family all the best for the upcoming year, may 2012 bring you much love, happiness and success.
The majority of 2011 was full of pure joy and excitement for us – we welcomed our newborn baby girl, we moved into our *forever* home, we bought a Lexus (ha ha), and Steve’s sister came to live with us for the summer. Lauren was learning new things every day, impressing us with new smiles, actions and even words. Priceless moments.
Towards the end of October, we found out that something was wrong with our smart little girl, and by December we learned that she had Krabbe disease. Krabbe disease – a disgustingly unfair disease that kills our children, stealing one motor control after another. Our lives changed we spent the rest of the year learning to be a stronger family than ever, while appreciating every moment with our daughter.
With the close of 2011 behind us I started to think about what my resolution for 2012 should be. It seemed silly to think about at first but with reflection it made me realize that I wanted to come up with a resolution that would help set the tone for the upcoming year.
2011 ended on a tough note and 2012 wont be any easier – But one thing I know for sure is that 2012 will be filled with a lot of love. We love our little Lauren, and we love living every moment that we have with her. This disease has broken my heart and the pain I feel knowing that Lauren will only be in our lives for a short time is immense.
In my experience, I find that the knowledge of a shortened life not only helps one appreciate the small moments, but it can also add a lot of pressure. I often find myself judging my actions, questioning if I am parenting Lauren properly. Am I giving her the best experience that I can? Should I be doing things differently? I’m mommy, I’m suppose to be able to kiss the boo boo’s better, but I can’t. I think that I’m starting to realize that I can’t punish myself for not being able to protect Lauren from this disease.
So my resolution is a two parter – One – Love, Love my daughter and my family. Two – Forgive myself for something that has been out of my control from the start and stop second guessing my actions. Put those two together and I’ve come up with a vague mission to Love the best that I can and accept that I have done my best.
On January 2nd Jenn Munro took some breathtaking photo’s of Lauren and wrote a beautifully heartfelt blog post about the experience. Please check it out when you have a moment
Pictures below courtesy of my wonderful sister in law Marlena, Thanks Marlena!