As of Yesterday Lauren has been in our lives (formally anyway) for fourteen months and although there have been many ups and even more downs, she didn’t hold back giving us reasons to celebrate.
The past few weeks have been difficult, I haven’t been able to hold Lauren without her crying. It has been a big adjustment knowing that I can calm her by putting her down rather than holding her close. My whole being ached to hold her, this has been the most difficult time for me since this terrible disease has taken over.
Yesterday Lauren gave me a gift, she gave me strength.
The morning started with Lauren’s first visit to an Osteopath. Stephen had made the appointment on a recommendation that he got when he was looking around for a baby massage therapist. Going into the appointment we really didn’t know what to expect. I fully expected that Lauren would scream her way through it and that we would just end up going home early, thankfully I was wrong! Lauren loved her visit, every time she would start to whine because of a new movement or change of position it would soon transform into a coo. By the end of the visit we were just happy that Lauren had enjoyed her time.
About half an hour after arriving home Lauren’s legs were so flexible and relaxed, it was amazing! Her legs weren’t in the least bit stiff, and she hadn’t even had her first dose of muscle relaxant yet. As the day went on she seemed very comfortable, so comfortable that she inspired Mommy to take a cozy nap with her.
When we woke up daddy was bringing in her new car seat that we had ordered. I looked at Lauren and she looked at me, we were both excited to try it out. Then I dared to do something scary, I picked her up! It was then that a miracle happened, she didn’t cry or scream, her arms didn’t flail forward or her body stiffen up, she was relaxed and staring at me. I cry tears as I write just thinking about it and how happy she made me.
Somehow I managed to put her in her new car seat (after about at least a half hour of holding time), she looked very cozy and comfortable, it called for another picture. I asked Steve to help me get her attention so that she would open her eyes wider, upon seeing her daddy she one upped that and offered a very cute and brief smile.
Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts and prayers, they are working! During such a difficult time, at a point when our strength was starting to falter we were granted such a wonderful day.