I’ll love you forever

9 Jan

I’ll like you for always,

As long as your living

my baby you’ll be.

– Robert Munsch

photo-25

This morning both Lauren and I awoke in fantastic moods! We chatted in bed for a while and then started to get ready for our day. I changed Lauren’s diaper and put her in a cute new outfit that Grandma and Grandpa had given her for her birthday. I pressed on the mattress under Lauren’s bum so that she would bounce lightly up and down, she loved it and awarded me with many sweet smiles. Such a perfect way to start our morning!

I carried her downstairs to the living room and set her up in her favourite spot on the couch, right next to the window.

I quickly snuck over to the kitchen and prepared my morning coffee while thinking back to how far we have come in the past year. So many memories were made, each one an incredible gift. It reminded me of the Memory Jar that I had started last February, I neglected it for a few months when times with Lauren seemed to be getting more difficult but now more than ever feel motivated to start adding to it again.

Coffee in hand I rejoined Lauren and decided to read her a story. I picked Love You Forever, by: Robert Munsch. I really don’t know what I was thinking, this story always sends me into a furry of tears but i felt strong and thought that I could make it through without shedding a tear. Well I read the first page and sung the I love you verse to Lauren. The second and third page went by perfectly….but then the fourth page happened, I could feel a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. I decided to finish the story and read the remaining pages while sobbing uncontrollably. I looked at Lauren and wondered what she thought of mommy’s performance and BOOM a special memory hit me that i just had to share!

When Lauren was about seven months old I read her the same story for the very first time. No one had warned or prepared me for how touching and sad a story I Love You Forever is. So I began, and just like today i found myself crying loudly as I soldiered through the book. Lauren who was healthy at the time had never heard her mommy cry before. She didn’t understand sadness or crying and assumed that my sobs were laughter. Suddenly she was booming with laughter, she thought that mommy and her were having a great laugh. I can still picture the sparkle in her eyes, I remember what she wore and exactly where we were sitting. Her laugh was amazing and super contagious, she had cured me of any tears within seconds.

It’s funny because this was a memory that had gone forgotten until this morning, it’s one that I had not added to the Memory Jar.

I bet that you can guess what I will be doing as soon as I publish this post 🙂

Lauren smiling with her beautiful cousin - this was taken around the same time as the memory that I shared today

Lauren smiling with her beautiful cousin – this was taken around the same time as the memory that I shared today

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6 Responses to “I’ll love you forever”

  1. Amy January 10, 2013 at 1:30 AM #

    I absolutely love your stories about Lauren! Thank you for sharing your beautiful baby and your life with us!

  2. Josy January 10, 2013 at 2:27 PM #

    Amanda – thanks for sharing! I remember reading that book to my boys and crying my heart out! We are thinking about you and sending our love and prayers – Josy

  3. Carol (Hume) January 10, 2013 at 8:22 PM #

    That book is definitely a tear jerker to say the least! Your daughter is as beautiful as ever and the love and joy that you share with her seem to be making a real difference in her life. She is really blessed to have parents like you!

  4. c1u5 January 11, 2013 at 4:08 AM #

    Amanda, that is so beautiful! In your concern about what Lauren was thinking about you crying, you remembered exactly what she thought about your crying, that it was laughter. So then you knew that she was joining you in laughter NOW as she did then. May the 2 of you always be joined by laughter as she has dictated. You know your daughter in every detail. Love, Ann xo

  5. Debbie Strongilos January 13, 2013 at 8:22 AM #

    Thank you for sharing this special moment with us. In the darkest of times, children still have a way to make us smile.

  6. melanie pelletier March 8, 2013 at 2:42 PM #

    i love following your sweet little ones story thanks for sharing xoxoxox

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